I understand that in our deepest and darkest points in life God is there. Sure, I can say it a thousand times, but right now I really can't believe myself at all. This week has been the hardest week for me. It felt as though it was a chain of dominos which I had taken years to set up and with one small flick they all fell down and ruined everything. No lie, one small flick. That's all it took to throw everything off for me. Oh I can put on the happy face, and the face that says I'm happy everythings alright, but it isn't. Nothing is alright. What happened to the days when I had a bad day once in a blue moon? What happened to the days when I could genuinly be happy without faking it? This week started off with a bang, moving. Great right? Sure! I thought so. I got out of a bad situation and thought that by moving into a new place things would only get better and start off new. I was wrong, dead wrong. Rather everything that could go wrong did and got worse. Tuesday, my car broke, completely wouldn't start...nothing, just dead. Mind you I've put so much time, effort and money into this stupid car that I wanted to kick it to the curb that day. Wednesday...meh...nothing big, but I hid away all day, nothing could get me. Thursday it all fell apart. I found out one of my good friends here had a brain tumor. They found it by chance, praise God, buthe had emergency brain surgery to remove it on Friday. Not such a great time. Friday, he has surgery. I ended up getting called into work, and ex-roomate drama issues. Like really?????? Saturday. Oh what a day it has been. Found out my loan for school was denied....no idea why. I don't know what is going on at this moment in time. I'm so confused. I'm frustrated and really would love to just sit here and cry a good cry. Mind you I also found out another friend of mine also has a brain tumor. WHY!!!!!!!!! What the heck did I ever do to mankind that I get such a slap in the face for it all???? I wanna go crawl into a hole and die. I hate this and I just want good news. I can't handle another piece of bad. Sure break me down and make me vulernable is what the devil does....well he did it good this time, and I'm on my last straw about to break. I don't know if I can get out of this slump now. Life has gotten too hard. Where am I going what am I doing? Can I even finish school now? maybe I should just say screw it all. | 
